Speeding Ticket

I had the great privilege of getting my 2nd speeding ticket yesterday while driving on the Mass Pike.

Although I was going a decent amount over the speed limit, it's just one of those places where if you drive the actual limit, your only excuse should be that you got lost on your way to bingo.

As I was pondering the repercussions of the $190 ticket in addition to the inevitable hike of my insurance premiums, I began thinking of things that I'd love to be able to say/do to the cop, just to make it more memorable:

 

Then I began to think of repercussions of those actions...

Next time.

Today's Win

Disgruntled Pigeon

 

 

Winter woes

"I brought 925 billion friends!"

Ways to keep warm

This is a public service announcement from us (the only person) here at TDR, educating you on some great alternative ways to stay warm this winter. Grab a cup of hot cocoa and pull up a chair, kids!

1. Take fat chicks home

2. Throw molotov cocktails in your path

3. Attempt to fly south



4. Let George Lopez heat you with his freaky eyes

5. Kidnap - it works up quite a sweat

I suppose you could just stick to bundling up, but I strongly advise against it; It's less fun, you look like a bitch, and makes you very susceptible to falling down hills.

Rape's another good one, but if you're ANY fun, that's included in "kidnapping" as well.