Ways to keep warm

This is a public service announcement from us (the only person) here at TDR, educating you on some great alternative ways to stay warm this winter. Grab a cup of hot cocoa and pull up a chair, kids!

1. Take fat chicks home

2. Throw molotov cocktails in your path

3. Attempt to fly south



4. Let George Lopez heat you with his freaky eyes

5. Kidnap - it works up quite a sweat

I suppose you could just stick to bundling up, but I strongly advise against it; It's less fun, you look like a bitch, and makes you very susceptible to falling down hills.

Rape's another good one, but if you're ANY fun, that's included in "kidnapping" as well.